I've never bought any sort of personal massage device, ever. I've been to Ann Summers parties (where the sales promoters have enthusiastically suggested testing a vibrator's power on the tip of your nose) and I once went into a pretty hardcore sex shop when I was in university, but that was really to buy my dance pole.

All of a sudden, I've become very attracted to the idea of glass. To me, it doesn't seem monstrous or sleazy, but in fact, rather beautiful; plus, quite a few reviews on the Internet have remarked - raved, even - at how smooth its surface is compared to ordinary silicone. It's not the stuff of farce, is glass. I see it as an artistic toy, a work of art I can have fun with.

Although a few vibrating glass toys have been invented, I'm not really interested in what it can do so much as what it looks like. Is that superficial? For instance, LoveHoney sells one, and it's a clever idea that allows its user to chop and change, depending on their mood.

That pales in comparison, however, to Bondara's glass selection. I am literally in love with their pink Hera. It is so, so gorgeous. It's pink without being patronisingly kitsch, and those curves are incredibly appealing. It's on sale now, and by goodness, I wish I'd discovered this when I was still living in the UK. I reckon I'd have had quite a ball, although getting it back to my home country would have been quite a nightmare.

The whole glass toy range at Bondara is fantastic. I really like the fact that they've named their toys after Greek deities, since I've always loved Greek mythology and it gives the toys an air of elegant debauchery, rather than just giving them tacky titles such as 'The Thruster' or 'Monster Cock', or whatever they're naming adult toys these days.

My other favourite is Hyperion, which is definitely quite a good idea for a toy and is probably very entertaining to use in front of a partner, but for personal satisfaction (not that I'm an expert), the shape looks a bit too basic compared to my first choice. Selene also looks like it would make an enjoyable toy, but I must highlight Artemis as the prettiest plug I've ever seen. I doubt I'd buy it, and I'm wondering whether the goddess herself would be so pleased if she knew how her name was being used, but its transparent, crystalline quality is charming.

While Bondara do overseas delivery for £4.99, I'm very tempted to risk it, but then the post here is so unreliable, and they already rifle through the parcels for valuables. Tut, tut.

Dammit! Why didn't I think of this?!?!

Sitting in the car this evening, waiting for the rush-hour traffic to finish its crawl, I wondered if it would have been better off if I'd gone ahead and let it happen anyway. After it first happened, I mean.

Perhaps I might as well have done it - as I found out all those months afterward, it would have been safe, and don't they say it feels so much better? And then we might still be speaking and writing to each other now, and I might have something to look forward to. I wouldn't be wondering, every night, who he's met in Metropolis now and if he ever thinks of me and understands what he did.

But at the time, after I breathed again and everything inside me had turned to ice, I told myself to stick to my guns and say no. The temptation was there, and I did consider it for a second, but I knew - I knew I would be betraying myself and everything I stood for. That I would never play the fool, and that I would always look after myself. What if creation defied everything I threw at it and grew into life? I wouldn't let myself be so stupid, and I'm glad.

So I got my wish.